Today’s Idiot: Bo
A baseball game is a great place to spend an evening with family, friends or a significant other. Up at the major league level it’s a little pricey, but if you poke around you can find a good enough deal to make it more than worth your while. Depending on when you get there and where your seats are, you may even walk out of the park with a souvenir baseball courtesy of a foul ball or a ballboy.
One of the more exciting prospects of going to a ballgame is the possibility of catching a foul ball or a home run. I’m not entirely sure why, because nearly every ball that a fan catches is worthless. Sure, maybe you catch a record-breaking home run ball, or some player’s first career home run that they’re willing to swap for an autograph or two, but for the most part, the thrill of the foul ball is just in the catch itself.
Today’s Idiot recently attended a Houston Astros game with his girlfriend. They had some pretty nice seats down the left field line, prime real estate for foul balls. And wouldn’t you know it, in the fourth inning, a Houston player loops a line drive down the left field line and right at the happy couple. The young man stands up in front of his girlfriend … and ducks out of the way at the last minute and the ball hits her squarely on the arm.
What a gentleman.
And his first instinct after the young lady gets hit is to dive under the seats for the ball, which he hangs onto for dear life, and doesn’t show any indication of handing it to his girl. I understand that feminism and girl power are hot button topics nowadays, but I’m still a firm believer in chivalry and treating a lady right.
This guy Bo takes a young lady to a ballgame and bails on a foul ball so she gets takes the hit instead of him. Chivalrous. Maybe he was concerned that the 75% reverse tilt of his hat would be thrown off, or that he would leave what appears to be a dead rat carcass on his chin unprotected. Whatever the reason, he’s got a good story to tell at his next ultimate frisbee tournament.
The two were interviewed by FSN’s field reporter and the girl didn’t sound too thrilled with her man. His excuse was that he lost the ball in the lights, but that’s a cheap cop out. Matt Holliday found out that excuse doesn’t work too well in last season’s NLDS. And to put the final touch on the whole Loser Ensemble, the reporter gives the guy a pair of oversized, white sunglasses, which he promptly puts on, despite it being nighttime. And if you get up close to your computer screen, you can smell the three cans of Axe coating his entire upper half.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs’ Rule #44 is First things first, hide the women and children. That applies to baseball as well as war and calamities.