The Differences Between Conservatives and Liberals

I’ve always foud the differences between conservatives and liberals to be extremely intriguing. There are millions of people in this country that claim to be “moderate” – whatever that means, but to me, a moderate is just a cop-out for people that aren’t sure enough of themselves to form real opinions on anything. I found this sitting in my inbox one morning and thought it would be appropriate to pass it along.

***

If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one .. if a liberal doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat .. if a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy .. if a liberal sees a foreign threat, he wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative is a homosexual, he quietly leads his life .. if a liberal is a homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a person of color is conservative, they see themselves as independently successful .. if a person of color is liberal, they see themselves as victims in need of government protection.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to take personally care of his situation .. if a liberal is dow-and-out, he wonders who will take care of him.

If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show off, he switches channels .. if a liberal doesn’t like a talk show host, he demands that those they don’t like be shut down.

If a conservative needs healthcare, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides is .. if a liberal needs healthcare, he demands the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church .. if a liberal is a non-believer, he wants any mention of God and religion silenced (unless it’s a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he picks himself up, laughs and is embarrassed .. if a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his necks, moans as if he’s in labor and then sues.

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Posted on October 12, 2009, in Humor, Politics and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. A few intriguing aspects of this post:

    Presumptive “he” in every single instance. Not a single “she.”

    Overarching, polarizing and ridiculous generalizations. If a liberal slips and falls, they will sue? Really? Take a look at the political associations of some famous court cases, like the McDonald’s hot coffee case with Stella Liebeck. Surprise!

    Another thought: *IF* a conservative needs healthcare? So does this suppose that only some people need healthcare? If I am poor and haven’t been fortunate enough to receive the education which might enable me a job that offers health care or pays me enough to afford to “shop” for it, I guess that just means I don’t need healthcare.

    Or, let’s try this one on for size:
    If a conservative isn’t homosexual, they don’t get married to someone of the same gender. If a liberal isn’t homosexual, they demand that no one gets married to another person of the same gender.

    Oh! Wait! Same logic, but it’s the other way around!

    Perhaps there is not as much of a difference between conservatives and liberals as is often presented. Something to think about, no?

  2. A moderate is a person who is strong enough to know when his party has is not in line with his moral compass, not a person who lets their party dictate their point of view.

    “If a person of color is conservative, they see themselves as independently successful .. if a person of color is liberal, they see themselves as victims in need of government protection.”
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!! So a successful person of color can not be a liberal? or is that just an urban legend

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