Today’s Idiot: Latarian Milton
I don’t like annoying children. And a 7-year-old kid stealing his grandmother’s Dodge Durango and going for a joyride qualifies as annoying.
Meet Latarian Milton. He was mad at his mother (probably because she gave him a reduced-fat muffin rather than fifteen regular ones) so he swiped his grandmother’s car keys from the counter with his little friend and took the car for a joyride. While his 7-year old buddy smoked a cigarette. Joy.
Other reasons Latarian gave for this little stunt was that he was tired of video games, he wanted to do “hood rat stuff” with his friend and he was pissed that his mother named him Latarian. Okay, so I made that last one up. But he still wanted to do hood rat stuff.
The kid is so gangsta that he ran over two mailboxes, nailed several cars in a parking lot, hit two moving cars and knocked the axel off his grandmother’s car.
You may wonder how a 7-year old puts a car into gear. Let’s ask Latarian.
“I yanked da, I yanked the, I yanked the um .. thing.”
At least the grandmother is thinking appropriately.
“I want to whip his behind, that’s what I want to do right now. If I thought they wouldn’t take me to jail, I’d whip his behind right now.”
Latarian had a different idea for a punishment.
“Just a little bit, just no video games for a whole weekend.
No video games for a whole weekend for Grand Theft Auto! He’s just precious.