I wasn’t surprised when Minnesota catcher Joe Mauer was announced as the 2009 AL MVP. I was surprised when he received only 27 of the 28 first place votes. When a catcher pairs gold glove defense with a bat that led the league in batting average, on-base percentage and slugging percentage, he’s the MVP. There isn’t even any question about it.

Yankee teammates Mark Teixeira and Derek Jeter came in second and third while Detroit’s Miguel Cabrera and LA’s Kendry Morales rounded out the top 5. Six through ten were Kevin Youkilis, Jason Bay, Ben Zobrist, Ichiro and Alex Rodriguez.

Other than Mauer winning the award, I don’t agree with anything in this year’s result. I realize that pitchers have their “own” award in the form of the Cy Young, but you can’t truthfully tell me that Placido Polanco is more valuable than Felix Hernandez. Or that Cy Young winner Zack Greinke was the 17th most valuable player in the American League.

Here’s my AL MVP ballot.

1. Joe Mauer, MIN
Even having missed the first month of the season, Joe Mauer’s season was the single most impressive offensive campaign this year. He led the league in all triple slash categories. Mauer’s season was not simply good or great. It was historically great and there’s no one that was close to him this year.

2. Derek Jeter, NYY
Teixeira finished ahead of Jeter in the actual balloting, but not a soul who knows the Yankees would say that Mark Teixeira was more valuable to the team than the captain was. Switching from the number two hole to the leadoff spot, Jeter was the sparkplug for the best offense in baseball and had an outstanding year defensively as well.

3. Ben Zobrist, TB
Zobrist not only saved my fantasy team, he kept the Rays afloat despite predicted regression after their World Series run. He ranked fourth in OPS and third in Value Over Replacement Player (VORP).

4. Zack Greinke, KC
Pitchers get a short straw in this voting, mainly because they only play every fifth game. But, Greinke faced 915 batters this year. By comparison, the AL leader in at bats was Aaron Hill with 734. The amount of runs he prevented probably stacks up well with the amount that any hitter created.

5. Mark Teixeira, NYY
Teixeira bats third and plays first base for the game’s best offense. He’s expected to put up great offensive numbers and does. But players like him are fairly common. He led the league in homers and RBIs, and that’s probably why he fared so well in the actual vote.

6. Felix Hernandez, SEA
Same argument as with Greinke. Hernandez’s value to his team is very high and very real. A pitcher is nearly guaranteed to shut down the opponent every time he throws is of immense value to any team.

7. Roy Halladay, TOR
Halladay’s value is increased because of the fact that nine times out of ten he rests the bullpen. Plus, he’s one of the greatest pitchers in the game and performed like it despite dealing with circling trade rumors.

8. Kevin Youkilis, BOS
And here begins the run of players much like Mark Teixeira. Youkilis continued his impressive offensive work, improving on last year’s outstanding campaign. But disappeared in the playoffs (1-for-12).

9. Kendry Morales, LAA
Morales flew under the radar much of the season, but ended up nearly equally the production of the man he replaced in Anaheim.

10. Miguel Cabrera, DET
There’s no doubt that Cabrera’s on-field production throughout most of the year was incredible. But when his team needed him the most, he was out late, drunk and fighting his wife.

The National League Cy Young will be awarded tomorrow and there are three pitchers with any semblance of a chance at the thing – two of them Cardinals. Unfortunately for the St. Louis faithful, one scrawny kid from San Francisco deserves to win. Again.

While both Adam Wainwright and Chris Carpenter piled up wins, Tim Lincecum went about his own business establishing himself as the best pitcher in the National League. He led the league in strikeouts (261) and K/9 (10.42!!). He allowed under seven hits per nine and opponents hit only .206/.271/.290 off him. Basically, he turned everyone he saw into Jose Molina.

While Carpenter bested Lincecum in ERA, a more traditional measure of a pitcher’s ability, Lincecum outperformed Carpenter in FIP, a statistic that takes into account things that a pitcher is specifically responsible. FIP is a better judge of how a pitcher pitched, regardless of how well his fielders fielded behind him. Lincecum’s FIP of 2.38 was not only lower than his actual ERA, denoting that he pitched better than his ERA dictated, but it was also significantly lower than Carpenter’s FIP of 2.82.

Voters proved they are moving in the right direction regarding these votes by awarding the AL Cy Young to Zack Grienke, who did not have the gaudy win total that Cy Young winners typically have, but rather packed a punch in the categories that are better determinants of how good a pitcher was in a given year.

And so, my vote goes to San Fran’s Tim Lincecum, just as my vote went to Zack Greinke. Hopefully the writers go two-for-two on these and reward the two best pitchers in both leagues. Adam Wainwright, Chris Carpenter and the Cardinals all had outstanding seasons, but Tim Lincecum was far and away the most impressive pitcher in the National League this season.

For the most part, I enjoy Rick Reilly’s work. I read his weekly column religiously when he worked for Sports Illustrated, and continued to follow him with some regularity when he moved over to ESPN.

But it’s articles like today’s – “Too Short For A Column, that remind me he’s just another run-of-the-mill mainstream media buffoon who hates the Yankees.

They’re having a parade because the New York Yankees won the title? Why not throw one because a bear ate a salmon? Or a hurricane knocked over a trash can? Hey, the bully just gave the nerd a wedgie! Let’s throw a parade!

Talk about sour grapes. Baseball has a system. And when there’s a problem with a system, people often look for one gross offender to point a finger at. For the situation in the Middle East, it’s often George W. Bush, and in baseball it’s the Yankees. It’s easier for ignorant people to identify one individual or item to symbolize their outrage than to pay attention to everything that’s problematic with the situation. If winning the World Series correlated to payroll, why not just award the Yankees the commissioner’s trophy and forgo the whole season?

The Yankees are only doing what they’re allowed to do in regards to what their system stipulates. While Rick Reilly and just about every non-Yankee fan whines about it, the Yankees free-spending isn’t the problem with baseball. It’s simply a by-product of a flawed system. Take for example this – I go to the doctor and he tells me I’m obese.

“That’s a problem,” I reply and my doctor says “No, the problem is you eat too many bacon cheeseburgers and exercise very rarely.” I can take medication to reduce my obesity, but unless I get rid of the unhealthy diet, I’m not fixing the problem.

When talking about the Yankees, the first response is nearly always to recommend a salary cap. “Look at the NFL!” people say but comparing the business model of the NFL and the business model of Major League Baseball is like comparing Marty McFly’s girlfriend in Back To The Future and Back To The Future II – they’re completely different! One game a week versus six or seven – or three if you’re in the playoffs. Sixteen games versus a hundred and sixty-two. Apples and oranges, Claudia Wells and Elizabeth Shue.

Baseball has no salary cap and teams are free to spend as much as they like in trying to put the best product out on the field year in and year out. But after a team’s payroll reaches a certain amount, they have to pay forty cents on the dollar for everything they spend from that point on. The Yankees pay this tax and they feed money into baseball revenue sharing program, which is distributed to teams across the sport – teams that sometimes spend this money on improving their team and sometimes that money finds its way into the owner’s pockets.

The late Carl Pohland, who owned the Minnesota Twins from 1984 until his death this past year was worth $3.6 billion dollars according to Forbes, making him the wealthiest MLB owner. And yet the Twins payroll has never ranked in the upper half of baseball since 1999.

As a Yankee fan, I am not about to deny the fact that my team begins each season with an advantage over the other 29 teams. Fair or not, the Yankees pay their tax and their revenue sharing money and are therefore allowed to spend freely.

A strict salary cap in baseball does nothing except take money out of the players pockets and put it back into the owner’s wallets. Perhaps surprisngly, I’m pro-labor when it comes to professional sports. Owner have every right to earn a profit but the talent has the right to share in those profits.

Would you rather have a cap and simply enrich the wealthiest teams’ owners or have that money flow down to the players who bring in most of those profits? Pay the talent that deserves to be paid and pay them at market rates, whatever they are able to earn.

Any fan would love to have George Steinbrenner as an owner because he has a personal interest in seeing his team win. That’s not to be confused with a financial interest, because every owner has that. To George, the personal interest outweighs the financial one. Not every owner can say that, in fact, very few professional sports owners can.

Joe Posnanski, another journalist I enjoy reading when he’s not bemoaning the Yankees financial clout, had an interesting thought the other day.

You have one team (and only one team) playing the video game on cheat-mode.”

An interesting concept, and he’s probably accurate with that statement. But I’d offer another equally interesting and true statement to accompany Joe’s.

Most teams have the capability of playing the video game on cheat-mode, but few teams choose to do so.

The Yankees are within every one of their rights operating the way they do. Complaining about them is simply sour grapes. There’s not a more successful sports franchise in this country than the New York Yankees. Both on and off the field, George Steinbrenner has built a powerful empire.

If Major League Baseball wants to update their luxury taxation system, that’s okay with me. There are plenty of ways to get creative with something like this without mentioning the idea of a salary cap. A salary cap simply hamstrings the Yankees and won’t address or fix them problem.

So don’t blame the Yankees for doing exactly what they’re allowed to do. Blame the system that they operate in or question why your team isn’t taking advantage of what is allowed. Complaining about someone else’s success never leads to any beneficial change. The best way to fix a problem is to work the problem.

Work the problem, people.

1. Umpiring
The percentage of missed calls probably isn’t all that much different than that of past postseasons, but the gravity of the boneheaded calls has increased. Phil Cuzzi calls a ball foul that hit a players glove in fair territory and then landed in fair territory. Tim McClelland left his guide dog at home Tuesday night for Game 4 of the ALCS, botching two calls. I’m still not a proponent of any sort of additional instant-replay system, but I would be in favor of better umpires.

2. Broadcasting
TBS can’t make it back from commercial in time for the first few pitches of an inning and FOX can’t straighten out its PitchTrax thing. There are way too many off days as a result of catering to each networks desire to have as much primetime exposure as possible. Plus, TBS sucks. They’re broadcasting the most important National League games of the season after broadcasting about 35 of the least interesting National League games all season. The World Series should not be scheduled to end in November.

3. Announcing
TBS – Chip Caray (unnatural affection for the word ‘fisted’), Ron Darling (political commentator working a baseball game) and Craig Sager (would be appropriately attired in That 70s Show)

FOX – Joe Buck (sucks working a series when you hate hate hate the team that’s winning), Tim McCarver (confirmed senile) and Ken Rosenthal (needs Legolas to find him a box)

ESPN Radio – Jon Miller (bad matchup because the Angels have a lot of Hispanic players, and Jon Miller doesn’t speak Spanish), Joe Morgan (always one play or inning behind) and Steve Phillips (who has a big birthmark on his crotch, right above his penis)

My favorite moment came when Tim McCarver let everyone know that Gary Matthews, Jr. is the son of Gary Matthews, Sr. The jury is still out on Jerry Hairston Jr and Jerry Hairston Sr, however.

4. Fundamentals
Teams like the Twins and Angels supposedly were fundamentally sound. Then Carlos Gomez overran second and cost his team a run, Nick Punto killed a rally by running through a stop sign and the Macier Izturis threw away Game 2 of the ALCS. Go ahead and add Bobby Abreu, Derek Jeter, Jorge Posada and Robbie Cano to the ranks of players that made baserunning mistakes since the Twins were dispatched. Although Cano’s wasn’t so much a running mistake, but rather the way he appeared to be waiting for the bus off third base while Mike Napoli tagged him. Chase Utley’s channeling his inner Chuck Knoblauch and Matt Holliday couldn’t catch an STD from a hooker. Players are forgetting how many outs there are, which base they should throw to and managers are overmanaging.

5. Commercials
The All-New Black Taco! The Black Eyed Peas! Everybody and their sister playing with their new MyTouch. Black Taco again! The George Lopez Show or the Wanda Sykes show! Quit smoking? Erectile dysfunction? Blackberries! Ninja Assassin! Did I mention the Black Taco? Okay then. Back to TBS’ broadcast of the last two outs of the top of the sixth inning!

The Boston Red Sox, despite being heavily favored, were swept out of the American League Division Series by the Angels this past weekend. Boston scored one run combined over the first two games of the series, and then proceeded to blow a 6-2 lead over the final two innings of the series-clinching Game 3.

Dustin Pedroia took the loss in stride like a man, by blaming the loss on Boston’s inability to get big hits and the similar inability to put Anaheim’s betters away late in games.

Oh wait a minute. No he didn’t.

Instead, Pedroia decided to rip the Boston grounds-crew for the problems that the Red Sox ran into in Boston for Game 3.

In the eighth inning, with runners on first and second, and one out, the slow-footed Kendry Morales hit a hard grounder toward the hole between first and second.

Pedroia hustled to his left, but the ball bounced up on him. He could only knock it down and throw Morales out at first. Both runners then scored on Juan Rivera’s single.

Two costly runs that Pedroia knows would not have scored if he fielded the grounder cleanly.

“It took a bad hop,” Pedroia said. “Our infield (stinks). It’s the worst in the game.”

“I’m not lying about that. That is true. I think about those things. That stuff upsets me,” Pedroia said. “My job is to take 1,000 groundballs a day. Other guys’ job is to get the field perfect so we can play baseball.”

I guess Pedroia had already fielded his 1,000 groundball-quota before Morales’ innocent grounder in the eighth inning and was therefore unable to field the 1,001st one cleanly.

There’s no mention in his little hissy fit that the Angels’ second baseman, Howie Kendrick, had no problem fielding his position on the worst infield in the game. It’s good to know that in order for Pedroia to perform as he’s paid to do, every possible aspect needs to be perfect.

In his next contract, I think it may be beneficial for Pedroia to work in clauses that prohibit him from playing if the weather isn’t to his liking, if the infield grass isn’t properly watered or if the opposing team isn’t setting the ball up on a tee for him.

A bad hop (which happen regardless of infield quality) didn’t lose the series for the Red Sox. They were heartily outplayed over the course of three games in every aspect. Boston’s supposed pitching advantage didn’t show as Jon Lester and Josh Beckett were unable to deliver lockdown performances they’ve had in the past.

The Boston offense, outside a Victor Martinez RBI single was non-existent for the first two games. And Boston’s unhittable playoff closer, Jonathan Papelbon was touched up for three runs on four hits and a pair of walks in an inning of work. Pedroia didn’t do much to cure Boston’s offensive doldrums, collecting a single and a double in twelve at-bats. He drove in a pair of runs and scored one during Boston’s three consecutive losses.

So the Angels, who outworked, outhustled and all-around outplayed the overconfident Boston club will move on to take on the Yankees in this week’s American League Championship Series.

Barack Obama Wins Wendy’s French Fries

Fort Wayne, Indiana – United States President visited a local McDonalds’s restaurant yesterday and purchased a Number Two, just the sandwich thank you, with apple slices. After his meal, Obama’s wife noticed he did not get a drink, so they stopped at a neighborhood Wendy’s to buy a large soda. When Obama pulled off the gamepiece on the cup, he was delighted to find he had won a Free Medium Fries with purchase of a regular drink!

Oh, and I guess he won the Nobel Peace Prize the other day as well. But the significance of the two awards are about the same.

Remember that the Nobel Peace Prize is an arbitrary honor that is awarded by an European selection committee. Also remember that Europe is the continent that overwhelmingly supported any measure that made America less powerful in world affairs.

Since his inauguration, Obama has been everything Europe could have wanted and more. He’s backed off promises to protect foreign nations against Iran’s missile systems. He’s sat and watched as Arab nations work to replace the American dollar as trading currency for petroleum. Signs point to him getting ready for a cut-and-run in Afghanistan.

Barack Obama is suave. But he’s not politically smart. And in general, neither are the Americans that support him. Winning the Nobel Peace Prize isn’t a great accomplishment. Obama’s been great as the POTUS, but unfortunately, it hasn’t been for the United States, but rather for Europe and other foreign nations.

America has a different definition of peace than the rest of the world. While America values freedom, safety and individuality, the rest of the world simply just wants America to be as weak as possible. That, for them, is peaceful and comforting to them.

So while George Bush spent eight years protecting America’s peace and projecting it’s strength and independence by responding forcefully to terrorist attacks, freeing Iraq from a bastard dictator and his rapist sons, Europe hates him.

But as soon as Obama comes in and does his best to cripple America in front of the world’s knees, Europe overnights him an award that will stroke his ego and image for awhile, but ultimately continue to weaken America.

And that’s all Europe really wants anyway.

I’ve always foud the differences between conservatives and liberals to be extremely intriguing. There are millions of people in this country that claim to be “moderate” – whatever that means, but to me, a moderate is just a cop-out for people that aren’t sure enough of themselves to form real opinions on anything. I found this sitting in my inbox one morning and thought it would be appropriate to pass it along.

***

If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one .. if a liberal doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat .. if a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy .. if a liberal sees a foreign threat, he wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative is a homosexual, he quietly leads his life .. if a liberal is a homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a person of color is conservative, they see themselves as independently successful .. if a person of color is liberal, they see themselves as victims in need of government protection.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to take personally care of his situation .. if a liberal is dow-and-out, he wonders who will take care of him.

If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show off, he switches channels .. if a liberal doesn’t like a talk show host, he demands that those they don’t like be shut down.

If a conservative needs healthcare, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides is .. if a liberal needs healthcare, he demands the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church .. if a liberal is a non-believer, he wants any mention of God and religion silenced (unless it’s a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he picks himself up, laughs and is embarrassed .. if a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his necks, moans as if he’s in labor and then sues.

For three quarters in the pouring rain, Mizzou controlled the game defensively. The slipped in for a touchdown late in the first half, but for the most part, Nebraska played well on defense too. Then the fourth quarter came.

I think that what happened in the fourth quarter is best explained by the following excerpt from South Park.

I believe the official count was that the Huskers scored 500 points in the first five minutes of the fourth quarter.

I know I stopped updating the goings-on in our fantasy baseball league, but in my defense, things had grown a bit stagnant. Mr. Walters made a late charge and secured himself a spot in the playoff, but other than that, not much change was happening.

The playoffs opened pitting Mr. Walters against TJ and Josh against JT. Nathaniel and Zachary, as the numbers one and two seeds respectively, sat idly by and watched as they were rewarded with bye weeks.

Mr. Walters wiped the floor with TJ, handling him easily 13-4-1, while Josh squeezed out a tough-won 10-7-1 victory. Mr. Walters’ victory slotted him into the second round against myself, while Josh was left to fend for himself against the younger of two Ballance brothers.

Zachary put Josh away quite handily, securing himself a place in the finals with an 11-5-2 win. Mr. Walters seemed all but ready to meet Zachary, holding a sizable lead over Nathaniel heading into Sundays game, but some clutch pitching performances and a huge day for the offense locked up at 9-7-2 win for Nathaniel and sent him to the all-Ballance final.

The final matchup lasted two weeks instead of the customary one, and by the end of the first week, Nathaniel held a sizable advantage and Zachary began desperate roster changes to try and compensate. He began picking up every available starting pitcher and rehauled his offense in hopes of finding someone with one last hot streak left in them.

Alas, it was not enough and Nathaniel ended the season just as he began it, comfortably ahead, with a 13-3-2 win and the 2009 Fantasy Baseball Championship.

FINAL STANDINGS
1. Nathaniel (Beowulf)
2. Zachary (Gilgamesh)
3. Mr. Walters (Achilles the Brave)
4. Josh (The Argonauts)
5. JT (Ajax the Greater)
6. TJ (Paradise Lost)
7. Andy B (Soggy Bottom Boys)
8. Kevin (The Divine Comedy)