Texting Teen Falls Down NYC Manhole

Found this story about a New York teenager that walked right into an open manhole.

The girl, Alexa Longueira wasn’t paying attention and was instead text messaging as she was walking down the sidewalk, and ended up in the sewer. As my cousin Dave might say, she was looking where she wasn’t going. She and her mother are planning on filing a lawsuit against the city.

Sometimes I wish I was a judge that could hear these cases. Dumb is not a reason to sue someone. You fall into a manhole because your nose is buried in a cell phone? You lose your case and I rule in favor of the defendant.

It’s like backing into another car in a parking lot and then expecting the owner of the car you hit to pay for any damages because his car was there.

Epic Battle Update – 07/06/09

Notes: Not too many close games this week and the still-running league theme is the constant jumbling for spots 2-8. JT fell from second to fourth and Zachary jumped from last to a fifth-place tie. With their solid weeks, Josh and TJ joined Nathaniel as the three teams with a better than .500 record. In a league where one week can shift nearly the entire week all the match-ups this week are important. The top 6 teams make the playoffs, and Kevin and Andy B match up this week, with Kevin one game ahead of Andy for that sixth and final playoff spot.

Happy Independence Day

56 Americans gathered in Philadelphia to commit treason against the crown 233 years ago. These 53 men were among the most brilliant men in history and together, they conceived a Nation based on the premise that liberty and freedom could exist in The United States of America, and this nation would be a free and independent one where every man, woman and child could prosper in accordance to their own abilities and determination.

We shouldn’t so easily forget the brilliance of those people who brought forth a new Nation conceived in liberty so that all of us could be free. In addition to those 56 Americans, remember also those men and women who have made the ultimate sacrifice to ensure the continuing freedoms that we so enjoy.

To me, the Fourth of July is Independence Day. A lot of Americans have fallen into the bad habit of simply referring to the holiday based on the date. “Fourth of July” doesn’t explain why it is our country celebrates the holiday. It’s “Independence Day” and we’re able to celebrate it because of the men and women who have sacrificed in order to keep our nation safe.

The saturation of our Nation’s most important should not be tolerated. Here’s a video for you, and for sure, it’s not your typical inspirational-music fireworks video. No, the only fireworks here come from the mighty Jack Nicholson. His epic speech from A Few Good Men needs to be heard by Americans more than any speech Barack Obama could ever deliver. It’s certainly harsh, but it’s the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Watch and listen to Jack and you’ll learn exactly why we are alive and well and able to celebrate our country’s Independence Day.

Appreciating Mariano Rivera

I’ve grown up with Mariano Rivera. He’s been with the Yankees for just about as long as I’ve consciously been a fan. He and Derek Jeter have consistently been my two favorite Yankees and when Rivera sat the Mets down in the ninth inning the other day, Rivera became the second pitcher to ever record 500 saves.

While Trevor Hoffman has nearly 70 more saves than Rivera, it’s unlikely that Mo will retire with the all-time saves record. But there also won’t be any doubt that Mariano Rivera will be remembered as the best closer of all time. He won’t admit to such, but there may not be a pitcher in all of baseball history that has dominated at such a high level for such an extended period of time than Rivera. He pitched through the steroid and live-ball era and still has managed the lowest ERA+ (by far) of pitchers with more than 1,000 career innings.

But more impressive than his utter physical domination of the best hitters in the world is the professionalism that defined Rivera. He never showed anyone up, but simply went about his job as best he could. And if he failed he didn’t throw a tantrum of cry, he simply showed up the next day and went back at it. Each save has ended in a handshake, not a shakedown.

Closers are a strange breed of baseball player. They’re often overlooked until they fail. The shelf life of closers is not long. Closers are often starting pitchers converted because they lacked a sufficient arsenal to go through a lineup multiple times. And eventually, the one or two good pitches that a closer has are mastered by the league’s hitters and that closer’s done. 689 different pitchers have saved a major league game since Mariano Rivera’s first save. 73 of those only saved one game.

Mariano Rivera has saved 500 (now 502) games throwing one pitch. The devastating cut fastball. The pitch runs in on lefties and makes righties give up. Former Boston manager Kevin Kennedy said of Rivera in 1996, “He went through us in the seventh and eighth inning like he was facing little leaguers”. Batters know what pitch is coming, how fast it’s coming, what it’s going to do and they still flail as if stricken with blindness.

Rivera’s nerves of steel and superhuman cut fastball have allowed him to become not only a regular season hero but a postseason legend as well. His 34 postseason saves are more than double the guy behind him and his 0.77 postseason ERA is unparalleled by any other pitcher.

It’s only fitting that his 500th save was something pulled straight from a storytale. The Yankees lead their crosstown rivals, the Mets by a score of 3-2 heading into the Mets half of the eighth inning. Yankee reliever Brian Bruney came on to relieve Phil Hughes and walked two of the four batters he faced. With the go-ahead run on base, manager Joe Girardi summoned his ultimate trump card, Mariano Rivera.

Rivera trotted in and calmly stared down Met catcher Omir Santos and ran the count to 2-2 before Santos fouled off a pair of nasty cutters painting the outside black. Rivera missed off the outside corner to fill up the count before freezing Santos with a cutter headed for his knees, but ultimately caught most of the plate.

Rivera had kept the Yankees ahead, but had three more outs to get. But not before something else. Playing an interleague game in a National League park meant the pitchers had to hit and due to a double switch, Rivera’s spot would be up sixth if the Yankees mustered any sort of offense in the top of the ninth.

It’s a fairy tale career, remember? The Yankees would muster.

Jorge Posada would single and Melky Cabrera would ground into a force out. Brett Gardner walked, Johnny Damon lined out to right and Derek Jeter stepped to the plate with a base open and the pitcher, Mariano Rivera, due to hit next. Joe Girardi would send Francisco Cervelli to the on deck circle to try and fool the Mets into thinking he was going to pinch hit, but Rivera would hit. Mets closer Francisco Rodriguez started pitching to Jeter, who had to stifle a grin.

The Mets would eventually figure out that a pitcher with two career plate appearances would bat next and intentionally walked Jeter to get to him. Rivera would stride to plate with the bases loaded and his team up one run. He took two balls and then watched two strikes find the zone. He fouled the next pitch off and then watched ball three go by. With a two outs and a full count, K-Rod missed up and in and Rivera had his first career RBI.

The man is the greatest closer in the history of the game, dead or alive and is probably the most consistent player in any sport, ever. And he’s smiling after driving in a run bigger than probably any other professional accomplishment he’s ever had. He threw a comical glance at Jeter as the two men ran the bases simultaneously for the first time in their fifteen year union.

Mark Teixeira would strike out as the next batter so Rivera was stranded on first and ready to finish off save number 500. After two quick outs to begin the Mets half of the ninth inning, Daniel Murphey smacked a single to left. But Rivera’s very next pitch was grounded weakly to second and a moment later, Rivera had become the second man to save his 500th game, and the first to do so and drive in a run in the same game. Naturally, Rivera’s celebration began with a handshake and a hug from his ultimate teammate, Derek Jeter.

Rivera is now 39 and will eventually end his illustrious career. But it won’t be this year. It’s been fifteen years since Rivera threw his first pitch, and he’s still mowing through major league hitters as if they’re 12-year old kids swinging too-heavy bats in hopes of looking tough.

My American League All-Star Picks

C – Joe Mauer, MIN
Even after missing the first month of the season, Joe Mauer’s my pick. He fixed the only supposed flaw in his game by smacking 14 home runs in his first 200 at bats.

1B – Justin Morneau, MIN
Morneau should join Mauer in the starting lineup for the Junior Circuit. Since his MVP season he’s done nothing but drive in runs and produce and this year is no exception.

2B – Aaron Hill, TOR
One of quite a few surprising Jays this year, Hill’s consistency has kept the Jays hanging around.

SS – Derek Jeter, NYY
Tales of his demise seem to have been greatly exaggerated as he’s hitting a cool .309 with 9 homers and 30 runs driven in. His plate discipline is the best it’s ever been and his defensive zone rating is tops among qualifying AL shortstops.

3B – Evan Longoria, TB
A monster start has inflated his overall numbers, but he’s still the clear choice to man the hot corner for the AL.

LF – Carl Crawford, TB
40 swipes before July gives Crawford a shot at 100 stolen bases. He should be leading off for Joe Maddon.

CF – Torii Hunter, LAA
This guy seems to get better with age. With his teammates succumbing to injuries all around him, Hunter has thus far paired an excellent offensive season with out-of-this-world defense.

RF – Ichiro Suzuki, SEA
Ichiro’s stuck atop one of the worst lineups in baseball, but it’s no fault of his. All he’s doing is hitting .372 and swiping 13 bags.

RESERVES

C – Victor Martinez, CLE
Cooled off somewhat from a torrid start, but clearly a head above the rest of the AL class of catchers.

1B – Russell Branyan, SEA
Someone finally gave him a chance at full-time duty and he’s made the most of it. He leads all AL first basemen in OPS and his 38 RBI are due more to Seattle’s jayvee lineup than his own ineptitude.

2B – Ian Kinsler, TEX
The second base toss-up loser is Kinsler, who by some accounts may be having a finer season than the AL starter, Hill.

2B – Ben Zobrist, TB
A season-ending injury to Akinori Iwamura allowed Zobrist to play every day for the defending AL champs. All he’s done is lead the league in OPS at 1.026

SS – Jason Barlett, TB
A .276 career hitter before 2009, the throw-in from the Matt Garza deal is raking this year, hitting more than 100 points better than his career average.

3B – Brandon Inge, DET
The former catcher gets this spot over the seemingly rejuvenated Scott Rolen. Inge is a threat to give you a spectacular play every night at third, and has shown impressive pop this year.

OF – Jason Bay, BOS
Another player coming back down to earth after an inhuman start to the season, Bay clearly has his eye on his impending free agency and is producing accordingly.

OF – Adam Jones, BAL
The Eric Bedard centerpiece is Torii Hunter lite, depositing balls over the fence in the top of an inning, then bringing them back in the bottom half.

OF – Johnny Damon, NYY
Damon, like Bay has enjoyed playing for a new contract. He’s already popped 14 home runs, just 10 off his career high and is head back to Yankee Stadium’s porch for a long home stand.

SP – Zack Greinke, KC
I’m handing him the start in his cross-town rival’s park. Even a small stumble couldn’t jack his ERA up above 2.00. The All-Star Game should be the first time Greinke starts this year with major league hitters backing his efforts.

SP – Roy Halladay, TOR
Head of the class as usual is Doc Halladay, but a short DL stint cut back on his time. He’s been busy mowing through AL lineups all season, and should do the same to the class of the NL.

SP – Felix Hernandez, SEA
Continuing to build on his early success, King Felix is having a terrific year by anyone’s standards. Very quietly, he’s right up there with Greinke and Halladay.

SP – Edwin Jackson, DET
Highly touted throughout the Dodgers and Rays farm systems, Jackson is finally realizing his immense potential in Detroit.

SP – Kevin Millwood, TEX
He’s been the workhorse ace the expected, but never really got when they signed him in 2006. Only Greinke’s thrown more innings than Millwood and only the guys listed above him have better ERA’s.

SP – Jered Weaver, LAA
With so many decimating injuries to the Angels’ rotation, Weaver’s been rock solid for them since day one.

SP – Justin Verlander, DET
Verlander started 2009 much like he ended 2008 – terrible. But he’s rebounded impressively and leads the AL in strikeouts.

RP – Frank Francisco, TEX
Apart from a minor injury that limited Francisco early in the season, he’s been about as dominant as Texas could have hoped for. A 1.23 ERA and 23 K’s in 22 innings has made the end of games less of a mystery for the Rangers.

Joe Nathan, MIN
Since being traded for AJ Pierzynski, Nathan’s been nothing short of automatic.

Mariano Rivera, RP
Is there anyone else you’d rather have on the mound with home-field advantage on the line. He was atypically prone to the long ball early in the season, but his control remains impeccable with a 13:1 strikeout to walk ratio.

RP – Matt Thornton, CWS
Thornton’s here because the White Sox are required to have a representative.

RP – Andrew Bailey, OAK
Oakland is also required to have a representative, and Bailey’s pretty much been money out of the bullpen for the A’s all season.

RP – Hideki Okajima, BOS
Okajima, along with offseason arrival Ramon Ramirez, has been the automatic bridge to Jonathan Papelbon all year and is a big reason why Boston holds the best record in the American League

Supreme Court Nominee Supports Racial Discrimination

A while back, twenty firefighters from New Haven, Connecticut were denied promotions based on an exam because not enough black firefighters scored high enough to be promoted. The city threw out the exam results and didn’t promote anyone. Naturally, these firefighters (nineteen white, one Hispanic) were pretty peeved. Having worked hard and done everything required for a promotion, they were denied because of their race. So they sued.

Their case was denied, most notably by Obama’s Supreme Court Nominee/bat-crazy racist, Sonia Sotomayor on it’s way to the Supreme Court. The Supreme Court rendered it’s decision yesterday in favor of the offended firefighters.

While Sotomayor is another disaster waiting to happen, equally troubling was Ruth Ginsburg’s comment following the decision:

They had no vested right to a promotion.

So because white firefighters scored higher and earned promotions, they don’t deserve them because their black counterparts failed to perform up to the same standards? What is this woman doing on the bench?

The ruling overturns a decision that Sotomayor made in lower courts and further de-qualifies her to serve as a Supreme Court Justice. As expected, the White House defended Sotomayor, saying that her decision showed she was a “follower of precedent”.

That’s convenient. America had slaves once too, and slaveowners were simply following precedent. But precedent only applies when it works in favor of liberal minded hags like Sotomayor.

“We’re very, very pleased that hopefully this decision will put an end to the type of obnoxious, identity politics and race baiting that occurs in workplaces around the country,” said Karen Torre, the firefighter’s attorney.

So am I.

Honduran Situation Exploits Obama’s Ineptitude

I know most people could care less about what goes on in Honduras, a place more known for church mission trips than lessons in Constitutionality.

Although our President seems keen on the whole matter, I must wonder about his intentions and capacity for common-sense. North Korea shot a missile at us and Obama waited five days before responding. When Iran held fraudulent elections and killed protesters, two weeks later, Obama was “concerned” about it.

But one day after Honduras tried to uphold it’s Constitution, Obama has come out and said that the ouster of Manuel Zelaya was not legal.

Obama would have you believe that the people of Honduras wrongly ousted Zelaya from office. But as with anything he’d have you believe, there’s a different truth to know.

Manuel Zelaya, ex-Honduran President

Manuel Zelaya is basically a Hugo Chavez wannabe. Zelaya’s term is up as President but he wasn’t ready to leave quite yet. So he decides to change the Constitution to allow himself to remain as President for additional terms. In order to alter the constitution in Honduras you have to convene a constituent assembly, something that the President does not have the authority to do – that’s the power of the Congress. Zelaya wasn’t thrilled by that and decided to call one regardless. Now in order to carry out a referendum, one must obtain ballots, and the Honduran Congress wasn’t about to print ballots for an illegal referendum. So Zelaya outsourced the printing of ballots to Hugo Chavez, who does it and sends the ballots to his buddy.

After this little escapade, the Honduran Supreme Court rules that the referendum is in fact, illegal and wholly unconstitutional and issues orders to the military not to do anything to help this thing along so General Romeo Velasquez tells President Zelaya that he is under orders from the Supreme Court and will not be able to carry out Zelaya’s referendum. So Zelaya pink-slips him. The Supreme Court orders Zelaya to reinstate Velasquez, and Zelaya refuses to do so.

At this point Zelaya decides he’ll just do it himself. He gathers up a mob and leads them to the military compound where Hugo’s ballots are stored and then has his supporters begin distributing the ballots to the public. Because of the Supreme Court’s earlier ruling, Zelaya was arrested by the military and was escorted out of the country.

The Honduran attorney general and the military were operating in accordance with the Honduran laws and a valid court order. The Honduran congress has convened and designated a successor president, all in accordance with the Honduran Constitution and the presidential elections set for November – the election that Zelaya was trying to get around – will go on as scheduled.

So for those of you counting, Fidel Castro, Hugo Chavez and now Barack Obama are all on Manuel Zelaya’s side in this thing.

A chance to take a strong, decisive stance on foreign matters after butchering the NK and Iran situations and Barack Obama falls flat on his face again. This man clearly has no idea what he is doing and doesn’t show encouraging improvement. Thank goodness our country is in the hands of incompetent baboons that are more concerned with preening their own coats than concerning themselves with the welfare of nations, including our own.

At least homeless people renting rooms in foreclosed homes doesn’t bother him. When is it 2012?

Epic Battle Update: 06/29/09

I’ve been out of the country lately, and therefore have missed a few updates. But here’s the new one, and everything is holding pretty much steady.

Notes: Big news of the week was Zachary breaking a seven-week losing streak with an emphatic pounding of Kevin to move within half a game of getting out of the cellar. Nathaniel continues to distance himself from the rest of the league, moving twenty-three games ahead of the second place team, JT. JT however, holds only an eight game advantage over the last place team, with five other teams bunched in between them. Matchup of the week is between #2 JT (94-93-29) and #3 Josh (97-100-19).

Possible Big Foot Sighting

In 1967 two hunters, Roger Patterson and Robert Gimlinar, took the following photo of what was supposedly Bigfoot:

1967 Possible Big Foot Sighting

The other day however, I found a picture of what, by body language, appears to be the same creature that Patterson and Gimlinar found back in the 60s:

2009 Possible Big Foot Sighting

Focus on the glare both creatures are giving to the camera. Take notice of the way the arms swing as they walk, and while the 1967 Bigfoot picture lacks a watch and cell phone, I’m sure he has his own ways of telling time and calling his friends.

Both creatures are interesting concepts. They’re talked about a lot and many people would give their left eye to see both of these with their right eye. But actual proof that either can be counted on to show up when needed is lacking.

Epic Battle Update – 05/25/09

I know this is three straight Epic Battle updates, and I promise to post something that’s more interesting and thought provoking between now and the next one.

Notes: A week of closely contested games ended up being rather lopsided. After holding a 12-3 lead as late as Friday, JT dropped from fifth to sixth by winning only six match-ups this week. Andy B moved into second place with a strong 10-win week over then-second place Kevin. TJ recorded his second consecutive winning week and inched closer to the break even point. The top two teams match up again with Andy B and Nathaniel going head-to-head. Both teams have been hot over the past two weeks with Andy B going 19-13 and Nathaniel 23-9.